Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Remember this song? :)
It's been a while, since we last met. Well, I'm not sure should I use the word 'met' because, you know, we never had any eye contact or exchanging glances for a while. Anyway, I hope you noticed my existence as I noticed yours. I knew you were there, through the corner of my eye, also looking at my direction- I hope so. I could vividly recall the moment we were actually looking into each other eyes, even for a few seconds. It made me feel so awkward yet peaceful, and beautiful. Somehow, through the eyes full of fear of yours, I felt safe and happy, just by looking into them.
Then you told me a secret, which I knew already what it was about. We shared the same secret through texts and laughed our hearts out at the acknowledgement of it. Nevertheless, I wasn't sure if I was ready for this but I never mentioned about it. So I lied. I lied that the secret you told me was never a serious thing to me, and you should not take it seriously too. While I was crying in my heart, because I knew what I was doing could be a bad thing for you and I.
You made my day, that day, honest. But I was the one who ruined it. I ruined everything, because I was too selfish and self-centered. All I could think that time was me, me and me. I was scared if I would get hurt or if you would leave me. I was afraid if I choose you, I would lose something or someone else. I was terrified whether this was what I wanted and if this was something that worth to try.
But the thought of you is aching me right now. I regret that I didn't think about how would you feel after how I showed my harshness to you that day. I am sorry.
I lied, because I was heartless.
However, you know why I use my heart less these days right?
Again, I'm sorry.