Saturday, September 28, 2013

#18


The sun shines on me but will never be able to light up my dark heart. You keep giving but I can't take anything no more. You promise me things but I can't let myself believe. I'm a person with a kaleidoscope full of feelings. Having all of them at once; is like strangling my neck with the chain of sorrow. I was holding on, believing that I could let free this pain one day. But it was just a wishful thinking because it never happens.

Just because you're breathing, doesn't mean that you're alive. I can barely breathe that I can't figure out if life is still what I have. I lost my shoes and I'll walk in yours if I could. So that I can get away from these feelings; because you aren't feeling what I'm feeling.

Even the time flies, I can't ever get away from the thoughts of you. I thought they would be gone but they just keep growing in the back of my mind. All I can do is reminiscing the bitterness of the situations and let the tears falling down my cheeks. Leaving me painfully sad while hoping for a miracle to occur and take the bad memories of ours away.

As you tear calendars page each day, the memories of ours rip my heart. I live pretending that you're no longer I remember. I thought my world would still be the same even when you're no longer with me. They tell me to laugh it off because what we've done was a stupid mistake but I can't even recall what it is. Because it hurts me to the bone just by thinking of it.

Please don't say that I'll be better tomorrow. My day is even darker that your darkest night. Don't tell me that I'll stop crying when my tears fall down even heavier than the rain that made you feel cold. The sun goes down and the stars come out for you while nothing changes for me. Even if my heart is finally light up again, your footprint is still going to be on it.

Don't say that I look happier without you when I'm giving you the fake smile. You can feel relieved that I'm no longer stuck in the love we had while I'm holding back my tears. My heart is a gallery of you and all I wanna do is to make it empty. Tell me why you're so sure that I'll find a better person than you when the love I'll have with another will be worse than our separation.